It is hard out here
That how we do up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
How cold was it?
It was so cold in New York, during Fashion Week, they had to rub two Super Models together to start a fire.
Rehab
It is so cold back east that Bill Clinton cuddled with Hillary Clinton just for her hot flashes. Wait, this just in, the writer who wrote that joke is now entering comedy rehab.
How does that work?
After weeks of therapy, Evangelical leader, Ted Haggerd now says he is completely heterosexual, despite a long-term gay affair with a male prostitute. How do you suddenly go from gay to straight? Do you just wake up and suddenly you don’t know what clothes go with what?
Cereal fans
On “The Ellen DeGeneris Show” singer Christine Aguilera said she and her husband spend Sundays totally naked, they even cook naked. So, clearly, they don’t eat bacon and eggs on Sundays.
What are the odds?
The Snickers Super Bowl commercial where two car mechanics eating the same Snickers bar accidentally kiss and then get upset and pull out tufts of chest hair, has been pulled because it offends gay-rights groups. Really? When was the last time two gay guys worked on a car?
Amazing
Did you hear the latest? Actor Ryan O’Neal shot at a crazy diaper-wearing female astronaut because he was jealous that she was sleeping with the newly straight Rev. Ted Haggard.
After weeks of therapy after resigning due to a long-term affair with a male prostitute, Evangelical leader, Ted Haggerd, now says he is completely heterosexual. I’m not so sure, Haggard went on to say he is not just straight, he is so straight it’s fierce.
Since you asked, just like Anna Nicole Smith version:
Anna Nicole Smith’s early death reminds me of a woman whom I have mentioned before in here, but she is so fascinating it is worth repeating.
Like Anna Nicole Smith, this woman was attractive - in a similar porn star way - and grew up in close-to-total-white trash poverty but with wealth a mere close drive away.
She began the obsessed lifelong pursuit of wealth and fame by utilizing the only real tool she had: better-than-average looks. No, to her credit, she didn’t become a stripper, like Anna Nicole, but she leveraged boyfriends one after another until she got what she wanted at that time: a new car, clothes, a house, higher social status, and, sadly, a child in a loveless marriage.
This pattern was the one constant in her life at the expense of everything else including friends and family. Like Anna Nicole Smith, if you could not provide her with either material gifts or increased fame and status, she simply did not want anything to do with you. Once a person’s usefulness for getting her something was over, it was as if that person was dead to her.
The sad ironic side effect of this ruthless approach is that it results in their inevitably being friendless and surrounded by blood-sucking leeches. (See: Howard K. Stern)
Where this unquenchable thirst for fame and wealth came from only they know, maybe it was growing up poor while watching “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”; but what I do know is that the crazed pursuit of sleeping with men in exchange for wealth and fame never came close to achieving the only two things that really matter: love and happiness.
As a man, it is with no pride that I confess that, yes, men will, if given half a chance, happily sleep with an attractive woman if he has what she wants. What these women don’t seem to know is that, one split second after the sex is over, those men look at those women with utter and total contempt. Is that a double standard? You bet. Is it hypocritical? Yes. Is it the truth? Sorry to say, but yes. If more women who slept around to get material things knew this, maybe they wouldn’t.
(Unlike Anna Nicole Smith, the woman I knew, I guess to her credit, was too vein and self-absorbed to become self-destructive, so she probably will not kill herself with booze and drugs. She might kill herself with plastic surgery, but not booze and drugs. Also to her credit, the woman I knew was smarter and classier than Anna Nicole Smith which is like saying Vanilla Ice is smarter and classier than Kevin Federline)
Don’t get me wrong, I am not condemning wealth and or fame. If you have them, more power to you. What did Mark Twain say? “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Rich is better.” Believe me, if I win the big lottery, I am not giving it all away. Big ol’ cherry wood yacht to Aruba here I come. And if fame comes along with that, hi there, TMZ, this is my good side. Sure I’ll sign that.
There are two comments about wealth and fame that I love. One was by Microsoft founder Paul Allen and one was by comedian/actor Eddie Murphy. Paul Allen admitted he obsessed about one object growing up: a red Ferrari. As a kid growing up in a not-so-rich family with a beat up rusty car, that red Ferrari represented all the wonders rolled into one that wealth could obtain.
So, once he was a billionaire, Paul Allen bought a shiny, expensive red Ferrari. And it was wonderful. Until one day he left the lights on. The next day this lifelong earthly symbol of the spoils and treasure of wealth had turned into a 3,000 pound hunk of immobile, useless metal.
Eddie Murphy observed that, one day when he was living in his huge mansion he woke up in a foul mood. He woke up in a foul mood that became worse when he grew furious at how unfair it was that being rich and famous did not prevent him from waking up in a bad mood.
But what is sad is when the pursuit of wealth and fame takes priority over everything. So much real life is lost along the way and the real tragedy is that women like Anna Nicole Smith and the woman I knew, never felt satisfied. Not even close. They always lusted after more. There will never be enough wealth and fame to make women like these two happy. Ever. So they are destined to live sad unhappy lives of frustration.
Well, one is, anyway.
But you can’t feel sorry for either’s misery because that was their choice. Not only was it their choice to pursue wealth and fame at any price, in so choosing they caused other people great pain in the wake of their destructive, vapid and selfish paths. Especially their children.
If either of these two had grown up being around the rich and or famous, they may have learned pretty quickly that neither wealth nor fame, especially fame, is a cure-all for all life’s problems. But if you don’t grow up anywhere near wealth and fame, but you see it everyday on TV, you could grow to become obsessed, as they did, and to see wealth and fame as the answer to all of your problems.
How did that work out for Anna Nicole Smith?
The saddest part about Anna Nicole Smith? Just as Anna Nicole Smith dreamed of becoming Marilyn Monroe – arguably the most unhappy person in the world before Anna Nicole Smith – somewhere in a poor section of the United States, there is a beautiful young girl who is dreaming of becoming the next Anna Nicole Smith.
And then she will inherit the title of the world’s most unhappy person until she dies young.
How cold was it?
It was so cold in New York, during Fashion Week, they had to rub two Super Models together to start a fire.
Rehab
It is so cold back east that Bill Clinton cuddled with Hillary Clinton just for her hot flashes. Wait, this just in, the writer who wrote that joke is now entering comedy rehab.
How does that work?
After weeks of therapy, Evangelical leader, Ted Haggerd now says he is completely heterosexual, despite a long-term gay affair with a male prostitute. How do you suddenly go from gay to straight? Do you just wake up and suddenly you don’t know what clothes go with what?
Cereal fans
On “The Ellen DeGeneris Show” singer Christine Aguilera said she and her husband spend Sundays totally naked, they even cook naked. So, clearly, they don’t eat bacon and eggs on Sundays.
What are the odds?
The Snickers Super Bowl commercial where two car mechanics eating the same Snickers bar accidentally kiss and then get upset and pull out tufts of chest hair, has been pulled because it offends gay-rights groups. Really? When was the last time two gay guys worked on a car?
Amazing
Did you hear the latest? Actor Ryan O’Neal shot at a crazy diaper-wearing female astronaut because he was jealous that she was sleeping with the newly straight Rev. Ted Haggard.
After weeks of therapy after resigning due to a long-term affair with a male prostitute, Evangelical leader, Ted Haggerd, now says he is completely heterosexual. I’m not so sure, Haggard went on to say he is not just straight, he is so straight it’s fierce.
Since you asked, just like Anna Nicole Smith version:
Anna Nicole Smith’s early death reminds me of a woman whom I have mentioned before in here, but she is so fascinating it is worth repeating.
Like Anna Nicole Smith, this woman was attractive - in a similar porn star way - and grew up in close-to-total-white trash poverty but with wealth a mere close drive away.
She began the obsessed lifelong pursuit of wealth and fame by utilizing the only real tool she had: better-than-average looks. No, to her credit, she didn’t become a stripper, like Anna Nicole, but she leveraged boyfriends one after another until she got what she wanted at that time: a new car, clothes, a house, higher social status, and, sadly, a child in a loveless marriage.
This pattern was the one constant in her life at the expense of everything else including friends and family. Like Anna Nicole Smith, if you could not provide her with either material gifts or increased fame and status, she simply did not want anything to do with you. Once a person’s usefulness for getting her something was over, it was as if that person was dead to her.
The sad ironic side effect of this ruthless approach is that it results in their inevitably being friendless and surrounded by blood-sucking leeches. (See: Howard K. Stern)
Where this unquenchable thirst for fame and wealth came from only they know, maybe it was growing up poor while watching “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”; but what I do know is that the crazed pursuit of sleeping with men in exchange for wealth and fame never came close to achieving the only two things that really matter: love and happiness.
As a man, it is with no pride that I confess that, yes, men will, if given half a chance, happily sleep with an attractive woman if he has what she wants. What these women don’t seem to know is that, one split second after the sex is over, those men look at those women with utter and total contempt. Is that a double standard? You bet. Is it hypocritical? Yes. Is it the truth? Sorry to say, but yes. If more women who slept around to get material things knew this, maybe they wouldn’t.
(Unlike Anna Nicole Smith, the woman I knew, I guess to her credit, was too vein and self-absorbed to become self-destructive, so she probably will not kill herself with booze and drugs. She might kill herself with plastic surgery, but not booze and drugs. Also to her credit, the woman I knew was smarter and classier than Anna Nicole Smith which is like saying Vanilla Ice is smarter and classier than Kevin Federline)
Don’t get me wrong, I am not condemning wealth and or fame. If you have them, more power to you. What did Mark Twain say? “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Rich is better.” Believe me, if I win the big lottery, I am not giving it all away. Big ol’ cherry wood yacht to Aruba here I come. And if fame comes along with that, hi there, TMZ, this is my good side. Sure I’ll sign that.
There are two comments about wealth and fame that I love. One was by Microsoft founder Paul Allen and one was by comedian/actor Eddie Murphy. Paul Allen admitted he obsessed about one object growing up: a red Ferrari. As a kid growing up in a not-so-rich family with a beat up rusty car, that red Ferrari represented all the wonders rolled into one that wealth could obtain.
So, once he was a billionaire, Paul Allen bought a shiny, expensive red Ferrari. And it was wonderful. Until one day he left the lights on. The next day this lifelong earthly symbol of the spoils and treasure of wealth had turned into a 3,000 pound hunk of immobile, useless metal.
Eddie Murphy observed that, one day when he was living in his huge mansion he woke up in a foul mood. He woke up in a foul mood that became worse when he grew furious at how unfair it was that being rich and famous did not prevent him from waking up in a bad mood.
But what is sad is when the pursuit of wealth and fame takes priority over everything. So much real life is lost along the way and the real tragedy is that women like Anna Nicole Smith and the woman I knew, never felt satisfied. Not even close. They always lusted after more. There will never be enough wealth and fame to make women like these two happy. Ever. So they are destined to live sad unhappy lives of frustration.
Well, one is, anyway.
But you can’t feel sorry for either’s misery because that was their choice. Not only was it their choice to pursue wealth and fame at any price, in so choosing they caused other people great pain in the wake of their destructive, vapid and selfish paths. Especially their children.
If either of these two had grown up being around the rich and or famous, they may have learned pretty quickly that neither wealth nor fame, especially fame, is a cure-all for all life’s problems. But if you don’t grow up anywhere near wealth and fame, but you see it everyday on TV, you could grow to become obsessed, as they did, and to see wealth and fame as the answer to all of your problems.
How did that work out for Anna Nicole Smith?
The saddest part about Anna Nicole Smith? Just as Anna Nicole Smith dreamed of becoming Marilyn Monroe – arguably the most unhappy person in the world before Anna Nicole Smith – somewhere in a poor section of the United States, there is a beautiful young girl who is dreaming of becoming the next Anna Nicole Smith.
And then she will inherit the title of the world’s most unhappy person until she dies young.
posted by Alex at
4:58 PM
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