It is hard out here
The delays at the airport are unbelievable. To give you an idea, there are scattered reports of passengers landing at the same time as their luggage, that’s how late they are.
Authorities suggest that you get to the airport two hours before you even book your flight.
Jamie Gold, a former Hollywood agent, won the $12 million World Series of Poker. Is that really fair though? In a game where lying is key, nobody stands a chance against a Hollywood agent.
A study by the C.D.C. reveals that fewer high school students are having sex. Well sure, what with tighter budgets and more layoffs, fewer teachers equals less high school sex.
Next Taliban, the musical
After the foiled terrorist plot, airport security is confiscating all shampoos, face creams and hair products. Apparently they suspect an attack from the gay terrorists, al-Qae-Heeeeeyy-da.
It’s about time
Porn Star Jenna Jameson will be an announcer in the Super Bowl halftime pay-per-view Lingerie Bowl. Finally, something in football that sucks more than the Houston Texans.
360 pound former Chicago Bear William “the refrigerator” Perry will also make an appearance at the Lingerie Bowl. Perry will be playing the roll of the Bowl.
If I had to guess
British authorities have released the name of 19 of the terrorists involved in the foiled plane-bombing plot. Let’s just say there aren’t a lot of Dave’s, Larry’s, Biff’s and especially Murray’s and Sol’s.
Since you asked:
We are lucky to have a network of talented and hard-working Serbian guys working on our house. But whenever they do speak Serbian to each other, I always think they are saying;
“Nemo, push, push, in the Bush, Nemo, push, push in the bush.”
Why they would tell a cartoon fish the lyrics to that lousy disco song over and over, I don’t know.