Monday, July 10, 2006

It is hard out here

Bring it on home, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Not a lot of action
As of this writing, the Chicago Cubs were 1- 11 at home in June and have the worst home record in baseball. In fact, the Cubs score less at home than Bill and Hillary Clinton.  

Tough decision
This is a busy time for European sports, the Soccer World Cup is in Germany, the Tour De France of cycling began and England’s Wimbledon tennis tournament is under way. It is getting so that Americans don’t know which European sports event to ignore next.       

Remind me again?
In their World Cup match against the favorite Brazil, France was victorious.  The French wanted to celebrate, but first they had to ask; “OK, so how do you celebrate a victory?”


In their World Cup match against the favorite Brazil, France was victorious. In Paris men were dancing in the street, swilling wine and grabbing women to grope and kiss. But then they stopped to celebrate France’s World Cup win.


It is so trite and easy to insult the French, but their brave and hard-fought 1-0 victory over Brazil in the World Cup was inspirational.  This also marks the first time that the words brave, hard- fought, inspirational, French, and victory have ever been used together.

Trump card
This weekend in Golf was the Donald Trump One Million Dollar Invitational at Canouan Island. The Trump tournament is tough because, they grow the rough long then they comb it over a bald patch of dirt.

Tough choice
The movies “Superman Returns” and “The Devil Wears Prada” have opened in theaters. Or as it’s known to gay men: the ultimate movie dilemma.

Or as it is known the Ultimate Queer Eye double bill.


The Chicago White Sox committed three errors losing to the Baltimore Orioles 8-1 Monday. But as White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, fresh out of league ordered sensitivity training described it, instead of error, he prefers the term three unfortunate fielding incidents.

The movies “Superman Returns” and “The Devil Wears Prada” have opened in theaters. Or as it is known the Ultimate Queer Eye double bill.

Make nice
The Chicago White Sox committed three errors losing to the Baltimore Orioles 8-1 Monday. But as White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who is fresh out of league ordered sensitivity training, prefers instead of error, Ozzie calls it an unfortunate fielding incidents.


Yuck
Six time hot dog eating champion, Takera Kobayshi, set a new record by eating just over 53 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Takera gave a lot of credit for the new record to his hot dog swallowing coach, Paris Hilton.

Takera won the coveted hot dog eating trophy, the gold plated toilet plunger.