Thursday, April 20, 2006

It is hard out here

We on the down low with the slow go waitin’ for the oh no, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Just a joke
There is a controversy in Massachusetts elementary school over a children’s book that depicts two men in a gay marriage called “King and King.” Shouldn’t that be “Queen and Queen”?

Gay History, class of ‘69
There is a controversy in Massachusetts elementary school over a children’s book that depicts two men in a gay marriage called “King and King.” A lot of people still feel marriage should only exist for straight men. Kind of like how the ability to dance only exists for gay men.

Serious shake down
This White House overhaul is extensive. Today Barney the first dog resigned and was replaced with a Chia Pet.

I know, you saw this one coming
President Bush met with Chinese President Hu; it was a little awkward when President Bush told President Hu that he loved his “Who’s on First?” routine.

Too sexy for his Aflack duck
A Boston paper unveiled their list of the World’s 100 Unsexiest Men.Gilbert Gottried not only topped the list, he was one through ten.

Again with the who
There was an embarrassing moment when President Bush met the President of China, when they introduced Bush to President Hu, Bush said; “President who? Beats me, I thought y’all knew?”

Gay history and herstory
California is preparing a bill that would require students to study gay history; you know gay history, like how Ryan Seacrest says he’s not gay and that’s his story.

Gay history is a little different, if you do well you don’t get an A, you get a Heeeyyyy.

California is preparing a bill that would require students to study gay history; Gay history is a little different. For example, in Gay History the dark ages were the early seventies when we wore avocado-colored polyester leisure suits and white patent leather shoes.

California is preparing a bill that would require students to study gay history; Gay history is a little different. For example, in Gay History the age of enlightenment was George Michael came out of the closet.

Should have figured that out
Now that everybody is calling for Def Sec Rumsfeld to resign, what does President Bush do? He dumps just about everyone in his cabinet except Rumsfeld. If they really wanted to get rid of Rumsfeld, they should have told Bush they wanted him to say.

President Bush’s senior advisor, Karl Rove, had his role reduced in the White House overhaul; Rove’s nickname is Bush’s brain, so it only makes sense that Rove’s role should be small.

Thank goodness
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a baby. Thank goodness, because until Tom did this, nobody really understood what was going on with childbirth, so Tom can now explain everything to us. What a relief.

Kind of more of a question than a joke
You know who else was on the 100 Unsexiest list? Brad Pitt. How does it make the rest of us feel when one of the 100 Unsexiest men has nailed Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie. Where does that rank the rest of us?

Since you asked:
You want to fall back in love with your computer? Have the electricity go away for a few days. We are doing a remodel, which is nice, but a serious pain-in-the-ass. Pains-in-the-ass are bad enough when you are not paying a lot for them. The electricity has been off so much I think we have accidentally been converted Amish.

Call me Lexzekial.

Classic dirty joke
One of my favorite mildly dirty jokes which, I think, in a small way, helps illuminate the human condition, is about the A.A. meeting.

The counselor of the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting begins;

“It is vitally important that we establish an atmosphere of trust and brutal honesty. So to begin, I want you all to confess the worst thing you have ever done when you were drunk.”

The new guy is asked to go first and he just raises his palms apologetically and says;

“Nothing. Can’t think of anything I ever did drunk that was even remotely embarrassing. Sorry.”

They move on to the second guy, a veteran of these meetings, and he states flatly;

“I had sex with a live chicken.”

The new guy gasps and asks;

“Did your’s die too?”