Friday, March 17, 2006

It is hard out here

Erin go Braghizzy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

St Patty
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Today is the day you get to drink booze and eat corn beef and cabbage all day. Or as Ted Kennedy calls that: Friday.

Got Bilk?
Northwest airlines is going to charge $15 if you want an aisle seat; and it’s another $30 bucks tacked on if both pilots pass the breathalyzer test.

Northwest Airlines is going to charge $15 if you want an aisle seat; not only that, but now if you want to join the mile high club there is a $500 membership fee.


Northwest Airlines is going to charge $15 if you want an aisle seat; In addition, a whack on the kneecap by the beverage cart now carries a $50 reflex testing charge.

That explains it
Jessica Simpson declined an invitation to meet President Bush at an LA republican fundraiser.
When asked if the Presidential affront was intentional, Jessica said, “No, I did it on purpose.”

Jessica Simpson declined an invitation to meet President Bush at an LA republican fundraiser. Jessica explained that she and President Bush will have more than enough time to spend together when they are seated together on the Heritage Think Tank.

Sounds familiar
Mexico eliminated team USA 2-1 to eliminate the host country of the World Baseball Classic. So Mexico gets to stay and USA has to go. Kind of like our immigration policy.

Repeat, not
“Failure to Launch” is number one at the box office and is about a guy in his thirties living with his parents. “Failure to Launch” is not, repeat, not a Metamusil commercial.

Who knew?
A Virginia high school math student recited 8,784 digits of the numeral Pi; it was awkward, when President Bush heard this he said; “I didn’t know there were that many different kinds of pies.”

Since you asked:
As silly and self-righteous as Scientologist Isaac Hayes quitting his role as Chef on “South Park” because of what he calls the growing insensitivity towards religion, specifically his religion, it brings up a great point. What with people being murdered because of a Danish cartoon, religious insensitivity is not what is growing, what is growing is hypersensitivity, religious or otherwise.

Since the dawn of political correctness and our current epidemic of over entitlement, anyone who objects to anything now feels justified – or entitled - in striking back in ways ranging from angry letters to litigation and even physical attacks and murder.

Should we submit to their emotional, legal and physical larceny and strive to be more sensitive to avoid conflict? No, these people will never be happy. Or I should say they will always be angry. What we need to do is continue to laugh at jokes and also laugh at how silly and pathetic their anger over a joke is, all the while being careful to protect ourselves from the truly crazy ones.

Didya hear this one?

How many Frenchman does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three: One to screw it in, one to open the bottle of wine and one to surrender to the newly illuminated Germans.

Something just occurred to me: half of me is half French and German. (1/4 is French, 1/4 German and or Prussian) This explains why I find myself surrendering to myself so darn often.

Although it could just be my charm and good looks.