We gonna bring it and sting it and take it all to the rack right now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget RanchersTacky, tacky, tacky
The Nike corporate jet, with three of their top executives on board, had a problem with its landing gear. It turns out the Nike jet landed fine but it was pretty scary. So scary for a while there Nike’s motto changed from “Just Do It” to “Just Did It In Their Pants.”wHat Is theiR pRobLem?
The makers of TiVo have announced you will be able to record shows and put them on video iPods. This announcement, however, does not explain why technically advanced companies like TiVo and iPod and eBay don’t know how to use small and capital letters correctly.Oh, those women
Heidi Fleiss is opening a brothel with male prostitutes for women; this is for those women who don’t want to go to all the time and effort of walking up to any man and saying; “You’ll do.”
Heidi Fleiss is opening a brothel with male prostitutes for women; guys, are you looking for that perfect Christmas gift for your wife? Heidi has gift certificates good for up to three boinks.
Heidi Fleiss is opening a brothel with male prostitutes for women. Here is my question: how do male prostitutes fake their orgasms? (Bored monotone) “Oh, girlfriend, oh girl, you rock my world. Yes, work it, baby, work it. Yawn. Is that really the time? Oh baby, yeah.”He just doesn’t get it
Banned for betting on baseball, Pete Rose is not on the ballot for the Hall of Fame on his last year of eligibility; the news gets even worse for Rose, he bet a grand he’d be on the ballot.Bear with me
It’s bear hunting season in New Jersey. Bear hunting is a little different in New Jersey; before you shoot the bear you have to give it a chance to accept entering the witness protection program.
It’s bear hunting season in New Jersey. Bear hunting is tricky in New Jersey. Before you shoot the bear you have to make sure that it isn’t really a drunk naked hairy guy named Vinny.No, really
“American Idol” cranky judge Simon Cowell says he might not comeback to the show. Do you realize what this means? No seriously, does anyone have any idea what this means?
“American Idol” cranky judge Simon Cowell says he might not comeback to the show. This comes as crushingly disappointing news to those ten people who actually give a rat’s ass.Two words
Ted Koppel is leaving after 42 years on ABC. Koppel said he is not retiring but did not specify what he would do but, I have a pretty good idea. Two words: Hip Hop. What we need when we needed it
A book of Bob Dylan’s poem are for sale. Buy this book and find out what word rhymes with muhwuhewwuhah.
A book of Bob Dylan’s poem are for sale. The audio tape of Dylan’s book of poems comes complete with subtitles.Perfect
Sharper Image now features a turbo nose hair trimmer. The turbo nose hair trimmer is the perfect gift for those people on your Christmas list planning to make out with Andy Rooney.Not a good idea
Sharper Image now features a turbo nose hair trimmer. Guys, the turbo nose hair trimmer is the perfect gift not to give your girl this Christmas. As presents to women go, the turbo nose hair trimmer makes the dust buster look like a diamond necklace.Yikes
A new study from London reveals what 60% of women determine if a man is sexually attractive by the style and quality of their shoes. Especially Shaquille O’Neal’s size 24 EEE’s.Maid sense
In the new issue of “Blender” magazine, singer Rickey Martin admits he likes to urinate on his lovers in the shower. In a related story, Rickey Martin’s personal maid has resigned.Who is the marketing genius?
Southwest Airlines has launched a plane in honor of the NBA called Slam Dunk One. And what could be better than naming an aircraft after a move intended to violently hurtle an object to the ground? Not everyone is happy
The Nike corporate jet, with three of their top executives on board, had a scare when it had a problem with its landing gear. It turns out the Nike jet landed fine so that is great news to everyone but the countless thousands of underpaid, underage Asian shoe factory workers.
The resurgent Chicago Bears, revitalized under coach Lovie Smith, are 7-3 have won six in a row and have the best defense in the NFL. That makes the Bears, without question, the greatest team in the NFL ever coached by a guy with the same name as “Gilligan’s Island’s ” Mrs. Lovie Howell IIIImagine that?
Ted Koppel is leaving after 42 years on ABC. To give you an idea how big this news is at ABC when they first heard about Koppel leaving, all of the women on “The View” were actually silent for over one second.Since you asked:
Don’t you have to love “Monday Night Football?” Vikings at Green Bay in the fall? Last second win? Come on. The NBA has to be dying with envy. Two lousy teams that are a blast to watch? I would rather get my gums scraped then watch the Atlanta Hawks play the Raptors.
That fun MNF game last night reminded me of one of my favorite Ann Caroline stories. Two years ago we were watching that amazing game Brett Favre played the week his father died. The announcer, Al Michaels, commented that it was particularly rough that Brett’s father passed away so soon before Christmas. Just five-years-old at the time, Ann Caroline looked upset and asked;
“Are the angels going to make sure that his Dad gets Christmas in heaven?”