This also just in:
A race horse in New Zealand named Rain, Hail, or Shine, was hit and killed by lightening. Yeah, in addition, things don’t look too good for another horse named: Meteor Shower.Top Things Britney Spears Husband, Kevin Federline, has never said:
“Sure, Shakespeare was prolific and talented, but, as far as his sonnets, I frequently find his over- use of indeterminate pronouns cumbersome.”
"What does bling mean?"
"Britney, let's give our high definition TV and the Xbox to a charity, we never use them."
"Are my pants hanging too low?"
“In terms of interior decorating, I’ve always felt less is more.”
“How can I accomplish more for humanity?”
“That is way too much to spend on a stupid car.”
“I am never eating another pork rind again.”
“Hey, Britney, where did you put my bus pass?”
“Don’t be silly, honey, I’ll get the check.”
“Hey, dummy, your tattoo is misspelled.”
“I don’t drink and I don’t appreciate people that do.”
“The Jerry Springer Show”? Never heard of it."
“I’m fine, what concerns me are your sexual needs.”
And the number one thing that Britney Spears husband, Kevin Federline, has never said:
“Well, I’m off to work, dear.”This just in:
A survey reveals that men use their cell phones more than women; that’s true, but men use their cell phones differently. Guys want to pretend they are a colonel in battle and make short quick calls: “Send cover. Over” Women have a bad habit of actually having these things that take forever. What are they called? Oh yeah: Conversations. Guys just hate that.What we do here is what we like to call getting all up on it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget RanchersRough one
I’ll be honest, I had a rough day yesterday; somebody leaked my “what not to do” in-house comedy video to the San Francisco Chronicle.Compensating maybe?
Truck commercial slogans that run during sports all sound like guys bragging about their sexual prowess to women. “It’s not more than you need, just more than you’re used to.” And “Loaded with everything you want and more.” And of course, “Like a rock.”Place your bets
Closing arguments on the Michael Jackson trial today. Odds are at this time next week Michael will be having dinner with Robert Blake, playing golf with O.J. and ordering room service with Kobe Bryant.Uh, thanks for sharing?
Britney Spears said that sex during her pregnancy is “crazy good.” This statement was rather alarming to Britney’s husband, Kevin Federline, as he has not actually had sex with Britney since she became pregnant.
When asked to analyze Britney’s statement, a psychiatrist proclaimed Britney “crazy not so good.”Well, at least he isn't bitter
Britney Spears proclaimed that sex during her pregnancy is “crazy good.” When asked to comment, Britney’s husband, Kevin Federline, said;
“I guess you could call it crazy good, if by crazy good you mean repeatedly getting crushed by a heavy nutty broad who is eating and spilling Cheetos and pickles on you during sex, then yeah, it’s crazy good.”Since you asked:
A retrospective of the explosion of the punk/surfer/skateboard culture in current society:
It’s wild how things happen. The skateboard movie “Lords of Dogtown” is about the Zephyr skateboard and surf team from Santa Monica, California in the Seventies. This was the birthplace of the rebel, in-your-face school of surfing and skateboarding that is so prevalent now. Prior to that, surfing was all about the mellow Beach Boys/Gidget/Beach Blanket Bingo scene.
Why were these Z-boys, as they are called, rebel surfers? Because they were poor and from a bad neighborhood that happened to be on a great Southern California surf break. That part of Santa Monica, believe it or not, was nasty and trashed. That is Dogtown. It was hard core blue collar and poor folks and drug addicts and alcoholics. Their kids, these Z-boys, actually surfed through the wreckage of a broken down amusement park pier. (It was as if it was a movie set created by Tim Burton for a Mad Max surfer sequel with a sound track by the Nine Inch Nails) The Z-boys hated the “rich kid” Malibu and La Jolla Beach Boy-type surfers of everywhere else.
This is where the current huge skateboard/surf culture was born and it would probably have died a natural death if it wasn’t for one character in a movie: Sean Penn’s Jeff Spicoli in “Fast Times At Ridgemont High” His dead-on portrayal of the punk/stoned surfer – spawned from the minions of the Z-boys - intrigued an entire generation and thus created the character that launched a zillion people who over-use the word Dude.
No lie, I was in the perfect position to witness this entire phenomenon evolve. I was in Long Beach in ’77 to see the Z-boy culture slowly take over, but strictly limited to, the local surfing culture, and then, after “Fast Times,” when I went back home to Chicago, I saw Illinois kids, who never stepped on a surfboard in their lives, wearing Vans sneakers and saying;
“Whoa, Dude. All I need is a cool buzz, a tasty wave and I'm fine.”
Now because of the cross-over with snowboarding and the explosion of skateboarding and it’s resultant boarderline-gang what-are-you-looking-at?-fashion, the look, bad attitude and culture of punk/gang skateboarders is, like it or not, here to stay. And why wouldn't it be? It is the perfect storm for teenage angst: fun, surf, danger, sports, partying, rebellion, funky-fashion and getting girls all rolled into one scene.
And it started with about ten derelict stoners ditching school and sparking up in a ghetto'd-up surfboard shop in Santa Monica in the early Seventies.