It still got some ru
It still got some rumble up in its bumble up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Whole lotta shaking going on
Did you see the storms across the Midwest? It was so cold people were shaking like Kirstie Alley at her post-Thanksgiving Jenny Craig weigh-in.
Catchy
New Jersey is looking for a new state motto; they decided it was time to get rid of their old motto: Make it look like an accident.
Yikes
During the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, did you see the M&M balloon deflate and land on the spectators? I haven’t seen a balloon go down like that since they launched the Paris Hilton balloon.
So that’s what that means
In an interview in “Blender” magazine Ricky Martin revealed he likes to urinate on his lovers in the shower. Apparently “La Vida Loca” really means “What the hell are you doing?”
Line up
Heidi Fleiss is opening a brothel for women clients looking to hire male prostitutes. For $500 a woman can hire a man who, no matter what she says to him, he will say; “Yes, Dear, you’re absolutely right, honey. Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
That’s nice
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced they split up over Thanksgiving. When asked if the break up was amicable, Jessica replied; “No, we’re still friends.”
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced they split up over Thanksgiving. When asked if the break up was amicable, Jessica replied; “No, we’re not Catholic.”
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced they split up over Thanksgiving. When asked if their differences were irreconcilable, Jessica said; “No, they just can’t be solved.”
Cool hand Duke
San Diego rep. congressman Rany “Duke” Cunningham pleaded guilty to accepting $2.4 million in bribes. Or as Halliburton calls $2.4 million in bribes: petty cash.
Giant screw up
The New York Giants lost in overtime to the Seattle Seahawks 24-21 after the Giant’s kicker, Jay Feely, missed three field goals; Feely shouldn’t worry, everyone knows how easy going, supportive and forgiving New York sports fans are.
The New York Giants lost in overtime to the Seattle Seahawks 24-21 after the Giant’s kicker, Jay Feely, missed three field goals; To show how bad it is, to escape the wrath of New York sports fans, Feely has disguised himself as A. Rod.
Since you asked:
Told this story Thanksgiving.
My father in-law is a pure bred good ol’boy from Mississippi. Jim is a big ol’ guy who hunts with bow and arrow and is amazingly handy with his hands. Jim, starts every sentence with the words “I’ll tell you what” and interjects with “an’ everythang” and he even uses the rare southern word for alone, onlyiest. As in “I was the onlyiest one there.” But he has a good sense of humor and can be teased about it. One day he was reading the paper, and, like the smart-ass that I am, I walked by and said;
“You need any help with the big words?”
Without missing a beat Jim said;
“Nahh, I just skip on over ‘em.”
When I first met Virginia’s folks I hadn’t been dating her long. Jim referred to me as “just another hairy-legged boy.” He didn’t say much on my first visit to see them in Grand Junction, Colorado. One day I went for a run past some rickety looking farm houses and this rogue cur farm dog ran out and bit me flush on the ankle.
When I limped back, Virg ran and got hydrogen peroxide and began to pour it on the bite. Big ol’ Jim sauntered by and, in his accent thicker than molasses in December, said;
“Don’t be wastin’ the good whisky on him if he’s fixin’ to up and die.”
Whole lotta shaking going on
Did you see the storms across the Midwest? It was so cold people were shaking like Kirstie Alley at her post-Thanksgiving Jenny Craig weigh-in.
Catchy
New Jersey is looking for a new state motto; they decided it was time to get rid of their old motto: Make it look like an accident.
Yikes
During the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, did you see the M&M balloon deflate and land on the spectators? I haven’t seen a balloon go down like that since they launched the Paris Hilton balloon.
So that’s what that means
In an interview in “Blender” magazine Ricky Martin revealed he likes to urinate on his lovers in the shower. Apparently “La Vida Loca” really means “What the hell are you doing?”
Line up
Heidi Fleiss is opening a brothel for women clients looking to hire male prostitutes. For $500 a woman can hire a man who, no matter what she says to him, he will say; “Yes, Dear, you’re absolutely right, honey. Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
That’s nice
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced they split up over Thanksgiving. When asked if the break up was amicable, Jessica replied; “No, we’re still friends.”
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced they split up over Thanksgiving. When asked if the break up was amicable, Jessica replied; “No, we’re not Catholic.”
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey announced they split up over Thanksgiving. When asked if their differences were irreconcilable, Jessica said; “No, they just can’t be solved.”
Cool hand Duke
San Diego rep. congressman Rany “Duke” Cunningham pleaded guilty to accepting $2.4 million in bribes. Or as Halliburton calls $2.4 million in bribes: petty cash.
Giant screw up
The New York Giants lost in overtime to the Seattle Seahawks 24-21 after the Giant’s kicker, Jay Feely, missed three field goals; Feely shouldn’t worry, everyone knows how easy going, supportive and forgiving New York sports fans are.
The New York Giants lost in overtime to the Seattle Seahawks 24-21 after the Giant’s kicker, Jay Feely, missed three field goals; To show how bad it is, to escape the wrath of New York sports fans, Feely has disguised himself as A. Rod.
Since you asked:
Told this story Thanksgiving.
My father in-law is a pure bred good ol’boy from Mississippi. Jim is a big ol’ guy who hunts with bow and arrow and is amazingly handy with his hands. Jim, starts every sentence with the words “I’ll tell you what” and interjects with “an’ everythang” and he even uses the rare southern word for alone, onlyiest. As in “I was the onlyiest one there.” But he has a good sense of humor and can be teased about it. One day he was reading the paper, and, like the smart-ass that I am, I walked by and said;
“You need any help with the big words?”
Without missing a beat Jim said;
“Nahh, I just skip on over ‘em.”
When I first met Virginia’s folks I hadn’t been dating her long. Jim referred to me as “just another hairy-legged boy.” He didn’t say much on my first visit to see them in Grand Junction, Colorado. One day I went for a run past some rickety looking farm houses and this rogue cur farm dog ran out and bit me flush on the ankle.
When I limped back, Virg ran and got hydrogen peroxide and began to pour it on the bite. Big ol’ Jim sauntered by and, in his accent thicker than molasses in December, said;
“Don’t be wastin’ the good whisky on him if he’s fixin’ to up and die.”
posted by Alex at
10:51 AM
<< Home