We don’t put up with the stuff up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Lord help me, why do I love this joke?
Tired of all the prostitute jokes, the residents of Hooker Lane in Greenwich, CT are petitioning to have their street’s name changed; in a cruel twist of fate, sadly the only street name available on file is Filthy Whore Avenue.
Good news
Good news on President Bush’s war on pornography: They have already captured the Ace of Diamonds and the Ace of Spades from the War on Pornography Playing cards, The Ace of Hearts is a Naughty Cheerleader and the Ace of Diamonds is that ugly fat hairy guy Ron Jeremy.
Confounded Varmint
Florida Gov Jeb Bush advised that residents evacuate hurricane Wilma and not try to “hunker down.” Bush was then informed that it has been over seventy years since anyone has actually used the words hunker down.
Florida Gov Jeb Bush advised that residents evacuate hurricane Wilma and not try to “hunker down.” Bush then said dagnabbit, tarnation, smithereens and other words not used since Yosemite Sam.
Close call
Variety listed the top 100 entertainment icons including Lassie and Madonna. Lassie finished ahead of Madonna, neither were good actors, but at least Lassie didn’t affect a phony British accent.
They put the bucks in Starbucks
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like: “If you can read this quote you paid too much for your coffee.”
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like: “Objects in coffee cup may be more expensive than they appear.”
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like: PT Barnum’s “There’s a sucker born every minute, and one of them just bought this cup of coffee.”
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like; “A fool and their money are soon parted, for proof, see contents in your hand.”
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like; “Five bucks for some hot water boiled over some ground beans? You’re an idiot.”
Shouldn’t Seven Eleven just be Eighteen?
Seven Eleven now sells sushi. This is for those adventurous souls who want to get Salmon and salmonella at the same time.
Seven Eleven now sells sushi. You thought their month old hot dogs looked bad? Wait until that Sushi’s been sitting out there for a week.
Seven Eleven now sells sushi. Finally, some good news for those Seven Eleven flies that are sick of the old hot dogs.
Batter up
Major League Baseball has their boxers in a twist over the latest “Got Milk?” ads that poke fun at the performance enhancing drug scandal. Suddenly baseball is hyper sensitive about steroids, but they were fine back when Jose Conseco grew a second and third head on his biceps.
And besides that
Rumor has it that since they had their baby, Britney Spears marriage to Kevin Federline is on the rocks. Britney is reportedly tired of always being the one doing the late night feedings, scheduling the naps and cleaning up the messes. And besides Kevin, she also has to take care of the baby.
Makes as much sense
At Hunter College, Madonna gave a lecture to an acting class. In a similar story, Paris Hilton spoke to the sex education class on the virtue of abstinence, Lindsay Lohan taught driver’s ed and the San Francisco Forty Niners taught a motivational class in the power of positive thinking.
Lord help me, why do I love this joke?
Tired of all the prostitute jokes, the residents of Hooker Lane in Greenwich, CT are petitioning to have their street’s name changed; in a cruel twist of fate, sadly the only street name available on file is Filthy Whore Avenue.
Good news
Good news on President Bush’s war on pornography: They have already captured the Ace of Diamonds and the Ace of Spades from the War on Pornography Playing cards, The Ace of Hearts is a Naughty Cheerleader and the Ace of Diamonds is that ugly fat hairy guy Ron Jeremy.
Confounded Varmint
Florida Gov Jeb Bush advised that residents evacuate hurricane Wilma and not try to “hunker down.” Bush was then informed that it has been over seventy years since anyone has actually used the words hunker down.
Florida Gov Jeb Bush advised that residents evacuate hurricane Wilma and not try to “hunker down.” Bush then said dagnabbit, tarnation, smithereens and other words not used since Yosemite Sam.
Close call
Variety listed the top 100 entertainment icons including Lassie and Madonna. Lassie finished ahead of Madonna, neither were good actors, but at least Lassie didn’t affect a phony British accent.
They put the bucks in Starbucks
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like: “If you can read this quote you paid too much for your coffee.”
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like: “Objects in coffee cup may be more expensive than they appear.”
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like: PT Barnum’s “There’s a sucker born every minute, and one of them just bought this cup of coffee.”
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like; “A fool and their money are soon parted, for proof, see contents in your hand.”
Starbucks is now featuring quotes on their coffee cups, like; “Five bucks for some hot water boiled over some ground beans? You’re an idiot.”
Shouldn’t Seven Eleven just be Eighteen?
Seven Eleven now sells sushi. This is for those adventurous souls who want to get Salmon and salmonella at the same time.
Seven Eleven now sells sushi. You thought their month old hot dogs looked bad? Wait until that Sushi’s been sitting out there for a week.
Seven Eleven now sells sushi. Finally, some good news for those Seven Eleven flies that are sick of the old hot dogs.
Batter up
Major League Baseball has their boxers in a twist over the latest “Got Milk?” ads that poke fun at the performance enhancing drug scandal. Suddenly baseball is hyper sensitive about steroids, but they were fine back when Jose Conseco grew a second and third head on his biceps.
And besides that
Rumor has it that since they had their baby, Britney Spears marriage to Kevin Federline is on the rocks. Britney is reportedly tired of always being the one doing the late night feedings, scheduling the naps and cleaning up the messes. And besides Kevin, she also has to take care of the baby.
Makes as much sense
At Hunter College, Madonna gave a lecture to an acting class. In a similar story, Paris Hilton spoke to the sex education class on the virtue of abstinence, Lindsay Lohan taught driver’s ed and the San Francisco Forty Niners taught a motivational class in the power of positive thinking.
posted by Alex at
5:33 PM
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