Wednesday, October 26, 2005

10-26

We gotta get our game on up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Class will tell
Police were called to the home of disgraced-skater-turned-boxer Tonya Harding after she dialed 911 claiming two masked gunman attacked her; it turns out Harding was in a drunken fight with her boyfriend. In addition, police decided not to charge Harding with drunk driving because her motor home was in park at the time.

Police were called to the home of disgraced-skater-turned-boxer Tonya Harding after she dialed 911. Turns out Harding was in a drunken fight with her boyfriend where she claims he pushed her down. The man was charged with assault as well as with littering for throwing white trash.

The boyfriend was charged with assault and with having really bad taste in girlfriends.

Bait and switch
A terminal at San Diego airport was evacuated when security suspected a bomb that turned out to be a child’s toy and a cookie. Or as Michael Jackson calls a cookie and a toy: Bait.

Not a good sign
I don’t want to say it looks bad for the Houston Astros down 3-0 to the Chicago White Sox in the seven game World Series, but today even Harriet Miers didn’t return their calls.

We kid the President
According to a poll, only one in ten Americans think President Bush did nothing illegal or unethical in the leaking of the CIA agent’s identity. Or as Bush calls one in ten: thirty percent.

Kinda like that
The White Sox are up three games to nothing against the Houston Astros, so it looks like a World Series title is finally going to come to Chicago. For Cubs fans this is like finding out your ex-mother-in-law just won the Power Ball lottery.

The White Sox are up three games to nothing against the Houston Astros, so it looks like a World Series title is finally going to come to Chicago. For Cubs fans this is like a guy having a stripper pop out of the cake at his bachelor party only to discover it’s his ex-wife.

The White Sox are up three games against the Houston Astros, so it looks like a World Series title is finally coming to Chicago. For Cubs fans this is like a being a writer who’s told his screenplay has been bought by - and will star - a famous movie star. Then it turns out to be Madonna.