Where is the love, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?



Lance Romance
Lance Armstrong is engaged to Sheryl Crow. Right after Lance proposed, French sport magazine L’Equippe declared that the diamond engagement ring was really Cubic Zirconia.


Lance Armstrong is engaged to Sheryl Crow. Lance said that Sheryl made him the happiest man alive. Upon which French sport magazine L’Equippe immediately declared that a lie saying drunk playboy Irish actor Colin Ferrell is actually the happiest man alive.

We kid the Garden State
The New Orleans Saints will play their opening home game at Giant Stadium in New Jersey. The Saints wanted to escape playing in a toxic, dangerous area, but for now they’ll have to play in New Jersey anyway.

Easy street
Every team in the National League East has a better record than the Western division leading San Diego Padres. Right now the Padres are like being on celebrity “Jeopardy” against Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton. “I’ll take “Letters of the Alphabet for $100”, Alex.”

L.A.M.E.
Now they are The Federal Emergency Management Agency, FEMA, is finally getting food, water and medical supplies to the hurricane victims. Apparently FEMA now stands for Fast, Efficient, My Ass.