Monday, August 15, 2005

Why it got to go like it go all that way, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?


Make up your mind
Leading democrats are complaining about President Bush’s five-week vacation. They complain he does a terrible job then they complain when he takes a break. It’s like that old joke about the lady who says; “The food at this restaurant is horrible. And the portions are so small.”

Take that J.H. down under
18-year-NewYorker, Scott Harper, jumped last week from the upper deck at Yankee Stadium into a net some 40 feet below. Harper will not be charged, but he will be cited for impersonating the San Francisco Giants.


Who’da thunk it?
A survey reveals that rich people are happier than poor people. Who does these surveys? This just in: most people prefer getting a massage to getting kicked in the head.

Eww
The White House hired the first ever female White House head chef. As opposed to the Clinton White House where the president chose what the women ate.

All inclusive investigation
Fox TV said that there is no evidence Paula Abdul had sex with one of the “American Idol” contestants and she will stay on the show. Of course Paula didn’t have sex with one of the “American Idol” contestants, she had sex with all of them.

Poor phone use
British tabloids claim Russell Crowe may have to pay up to $11 million to the victim of his phone throwing incident. That’s the most anyone has had to pay for using a phone badly since Bill O’Reilly and Pat O’Brien.


Iron clad evidence
Authorities at an Italian resort Island are investigating if Mike Tyson allegedly beat up a woman for refusing to have sex with him. Good thing for Tyson he got that face tattoo, it will make it tougher for victims to pick him out in a lineup.

A charge of sexual assault, violence and sheer stupidity? Why on earth would they suspect Mike Tyson?

Since you asked:

Great jam at the dive bar on Friday night. Good crowd, the band was good. Soccer tournament was long but good. A.C.’s team made it to the championship but lost 3-0. It was 0-0 forever, but in the last five minutes they scored and then the floodgates opened. The girls had fun and got medals so it was fine. Some of the parents seemed a little overly down-in-the-mouth, but I am sure they’ll get over it.

The hour long Festivus that is my birthday will commence tonight between 7:00 pm and 8:00 pm. A few friends, blues, BBQ ribs and wine.