Tuesday, August 16, 2005

We ain’t no holla back girl, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


The name game
The former Sean Puff Daddy, Sean John, Sean Combs, Puff Diddy, P. Diddy has announced he is changing his name again. Oddly enough, now he wants to be called Sally.

It was awkward, when told that P. Diddy was dropping the P., Jessica Simpson said; “How embarrassing. He should wear Depends.”

The former Sean Puff Daddy, Sean John, Sean Combs, Puff Diddy, P. Diddy has announced he is changing his name again. Now he wants to be known as: The artist formerly known as Sean Puffy Puff Daddy Sean Jean Combs P. Diddy.

It’s a good thing this guy is rich, what he spends on new business cards alone must cost a fortune.

Feisty Priest
Father Clark was the 79-year-old New York Priest who had an affair with his 46-year-old married woman parishioner. The one you have to feel sorry for is the poor guy that got cheated on: you know, the Alter boy.

Father Clark was the 79-year-old New York Priest who had an affair with his 46-year-old married parishioner. Turns out he married the couple. Look for the movie: “Father Wedding Crasher.”

It was convenient for her: she could give confession and talk dirty to him at the same time.

How did that work in confessional? “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, I committed adultery. You were great, by the way. Whew.”

How did that work in confessional? “You have committed the grave sin of adultery, my child, say ten our fathers and six hail marys and I’ll meet you at the Motel Six to see if you can beat it.”

Pricey
British tabloids claim Russell Crowe may have to pay up to $11 million to the victim of his phone throwing incident. That has to be the most damage by one phone since Kirstie Alley ordered room service at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Why the mean? We love us some Kirsty
A pierogi with the image of Jesus sold on eBay sold for $1775. When asked why she paid $1775 for a pierogi with a picture of Jesus on it, Kirstie Alley said; “It has a picture of Jesus on it?”

Mistaken image
A pierogi with the image of Jesus sold on eBay sold for $1775. Unfortunately, after closer inspection, it was determined the image on the pierogi was not Jesus, but Boston Red Sox outfielder Johnny Damon.