Thursday, May 19, 2005

We got us all kinds of that up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Oh, we kid the Kirstie
In a recent interview, Kirstie Alley said “I want one person for the rest of my life not five or six.” She went on to add that, in the case of desserts, she wants five or six, not one.

Party for Jacko
This week was the 74th birthday of the Boy Scouts; Michael Jackson marked the occasion by throwing a party and playing pin-the-tail-of-the-Boy Scout.

Lucas goes to the dark side
You know what would be tempting if you were Star Wars creator, George Lucas? To name bad guys after people you don’t like, like: Darth Mother-in-law.

You know what would be tempting if you were Star Wars creator, George Lucas? To name bad guys after people you don’t like, for example: Emperor I.R.S. Agent, or the Phantom Entertainment Lawyer.

You know what would be tempting if you were Star Wars creator, George Lucas? To name bad guys after people you don’t like, for example: “Star Wars III: Revenge of the Flatulent Brother-in-law.”

Geek goods
Due to the release of “Star Wars III” there is a whole new line of Star Wars products geared specifically for their loyal fans, like the new Star Wars pocket protector, the Star Wars Eye Glasses Repair tape, the Star Wars, “Stay Out of My Room” sign, and the very special Star Wars “Thanks for taking me to the Prom, Mother” greeting card.

Not to mention the Star Wars Medal of Enduring Celibacy.

Woman is all over the place
Another thing that surprised me about “Star Wars III”? The cameo appearance by Camilla Parker Bowles as Chewbacca’s Wookie Aunt Gertrude.

Far from Broadway
In Maine, a drunk driving male suspect made amorous advances on the arresting female state trooper. And here I didn’t even know Joe Namath lived in Maine.

They didn’t have to issue a sobriety test; they knew the guy was drunk because he hit on a female state trooper.

Apparently the guy was so drunk he forgot that female state troopers are lesbians

Shocker
Tonight is the emotional farewell of NBC’s “E.R.’s” Dr. Carter played by Noah Wiley. Wow, I am shocked. I had no idea “E.R.” was still on the air.


Long time
L.A. Hasn’t had an Hispanic mayor since 1872. I think the Hispanic mayor back in Los Angeles mayor back in 1872 was named Senorita Cher.

The best part of this Mayoral election result? I can hardly wait to hear Arnold Schwarzenegger try and pronounce Antonio Vallaraigosa.

Slight mishap with President Bush, but he is OK. It turns out when Bush tried to pronounce the name of the new L.A. Mayor, Antonio Vallaraigosa, he briefly passed out..

Now we have L.A. Mayor Antonio Vallaraigosa and Governor Arnold Schwarzenenegger. We don’t elect state leaders, we elect eye charts.

New meaning to riding hard
Italian officials say they’ve arrested horse owners who were feeding Viagra to their racehorses; this practice is not only illegal, it is very dangerous, ten jockeys riding mares were nearly squashed.

Senior Hisshoner
Los Angeles has elected a Hispanic mayor, Antonio Vallaraigosa. Do you known what the name Vallaraigosa means? It’s Spanish for: Stop Shooting at Drivers.

When informed of the new Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Vallariagosa’s name, President Bush proclaimed,

“Hew, doggies, that fella’s got more syllables than an Eye-talian menu.”

New breed

My daughter learned what a Mammal is in school. For example, Mammal’s usually have hair, they are warm blooded, and they were nursed when they were young. So I guess that means Donald Trump isn’t a mammal.



Since you asked:

Is it just me that thinks that, whenever it comes to computers, whether it is e-mail files, the Internet, web sites, blogs, documents on Word, you name it, things are either stupidly easy or mind-numbingly complicated? Nothing in the middle. Tried to find out how many hits I get on this pathetic blog. Should be simple, right? No.