Monday, August 09, 2004

We finally feelin’ you, and I mean that in a non-Arnold kind-of-way, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

How . . . hot is it?
*It has been hot. Today I was sweating like an Athens Olympics construction worker.

Did you know the Olympics are going to be in Beijing in 2008? You know the difference between Beijing and Athens? Beijing is ready to host the Olympics.

That name sounds familiar
*Actor Don Johnson has been ordered by a Colorado judge to pay his $6,000 grocery tab at an Aspen store. And this doesn’t even include the tip he owes the grocery clerk, Phillip Michael Thomas.

In swanky Aspen, do you know what they call a $6,000 grocery tab? A midnight snack.

Do you know what Kobe Bryant calls a $6,000 Colorado food tab? A bargain.

Had to see it to believe it
*John Elway gave a touching speech at his Canton, Ohio Hall of Fame induction. The majority of the crowd consisted of devoted Denver fans, but there was also a strong contingent of Cleveland Brown fans there to see, with their own eyes, that Elway was really retired for good.

Bad deal
*The Chicago Cubs acquired Nomar Garciaparra from Boston in a steal of a trade. This has to be the worst thing the Cubs did to the Red Sox since they sent them Billy Buckner.

Now, I don’t want to get off on a slant, here, but . . .
*The Eagle’s Don Henley was booed at a concert in Orange County when he spoke in support of Linda Ronstadt. Henley replied; “We used to be able to have civil debate in this country.” To which the audience said; “We used to be able to pay singers to shut up and sing.”

In an oddly ironic twist, the Dixie Chicks, Linda Ronstadt and Don Henley paid to attend a political conference and, when keynote campaign advisor James Carville came out and started to sing “Desperado,” all the singers booed him off the stage.

If out-spoken singers like Linda Ronstadt, the Dixie Chicks and Chrissy Hynde want to write a great song titled; “My Opinion is More Important Because I’m a Celebrity” I’m all ears. In the meantime, quit the speeches and sing your little songs, OK Skippy?

Truth-in-advertising laws may soon force politically outspoken singers to bill their concerts as part performance, part political lecture. In that case, look for these concerts to be held at venues a little bigger than the corner booth at a Dennys restaurant.

Since you asked:
One of reasons, albiet one of the smaller ones, I moved out to California from Illinois was my love of the Avocado mafia: The Eagles, Jackson Browne, Linda Ronstadt, Randy Newman, James Taylor, Warren Zevon and, yes, I will even admit that, at the time, I was a fan of that incredible sappy cornball Dan Fogelberg.

Not only have I made an emotional investment, I have sunk down a lot of coin for tickets, albums t-shirts and even posters. These folks wore their politics on their sleeves, that was part of the deal. The Eagles songs “On the Border” and “Last Resort” were about their views on politics and the environment, just to name two.

The last real Eagles concert was a benefit for liberal congressman Alan Cranston in Long Beach, which I happily paid for and attended because it said right on the ticket: “Proceeds go to Alan Cranston for Senator”. Same thing with a Jackson Browne an Anti-Nukes concert in Santa Barbara.

Where I – and obviously a lot of other people - have a problem is when these rock stars start to preach on our dime. It is not about left or right politics – as much as Linda Ronstadt or Don Henley would like to think it is – it’s about the fact that nobody wants to have to pay a lot of money to be lectured by someone who became a millionaire many times over for something far different than airing their political beliefs.

You can't turn a concert off like a radio. You are a captive audience, and if a sanctimonious rock star starts a pious diatribe, it is very annoying, whether I agree with the sentiments or not.

If a rock star bills the concert as a rally or a benefit, that’s one thing; but for these artists to feel persecuted because they weren’t considerate enough to realize that their concerts are an escape for their fans from problems and arguments, political or otherwise, well, that is both selfish and rude to their fans and it deserves to be roundly booed.

In their defense, many of the Avocado mafia have put their money where their mouths are and raised huge money for charity, especially Don Henley and Jackson Browne. That is great, I have contributed to some of those, especially Walden Woods. But when I pay to hear a concert that is not a benefit, please, don't put my money where your mouth is.

Just imagine dialing up an alleged comedy writer's web log, for example, and, instead of jokes, he vents his opinion on a topical issue instead? That would be . . . oh, wait, heh, heh, ahem.

Never mind.

Let me know what you think, Slatterns and Ranchers:


lexkase@san.rr.com

Be nice. Remember, we comedy types are needier - as well as more sensitive - than a lost puppy in the rain.

Have you seen this? You should:

http://www.borowitzreport.com/