Thursday, April 22, 2004

I'm gonna sit my narrow behind right down, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Oh, that?
*A University of Minnesota-Deluth newspaper reporter was fired for selling a pass to a hockey tournament. I was fired from my college newspaper. Something about how I were not writing goodly enough.

Wake up call
*At Duke University, officials are so worried about their students losing sleep they eliminated 8 a.m. classes. Or as we used to call 8:00 am in college: Last call.

I once had an 8:00 am class in college. It was brutal trying to stay up that late to make it on time.

In college I majored in sleeping in.

Bad habit
*Colin Powell said other countries besides Spain may pull their troops out of Iraq. France announced they are withdrawing their troops, and they don't even have any there. Just a habit.

We kid the President
*Bob Woodward’s new book "Plan of Attack” about President Bush is now the number one book in the country. President Bush hasn't read it. He's waiting for the "Hooked on Phonics" version.

They're not doing anything
*The Boston Celtics announced today that they’re going to hire cheerleaders. They should just hire away the L.A. Clippers' cheerleaders. They're not doing anything, they've never had anything to cheer about.

No speech N.O.W.
*Tennis player Pat Cash, asked if he had a dalliance with a woman who allegedly had a fling with Beckham, told the Sun of London, "I'm 50 percent sure I did. I wish I could say it was me, but I just can't remember. They all looked the same after a while." So much for Cash's invitation to speak to the National Organization of Women.

Yellow card
*Soccer star David Beckham's alleged affairs are all over the British newspapers. How many alleged affairs has Beckham had? Let's just say for a guy who plays soccer, he's been using his hands quite a lot lately.

Not big air
*Phil Mickelson is considered the favorite to win the next major, the U.S. Open. Personally, I hope Phil wins again. I want to see that victory "leap" of his again. That boy couldn't jump to a conclusion.