Saturday, March 13, 2004

Oh man, I got a weak back. When did I get that weak back? Oh, about a week back, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

(That joke is so old and tired and it still cracks me up. Thanks forever to three comic legends, Gay Willy, Dirty Apples and Pitty. Now get out at the damn Slauson cut-off)

Baby, baby, where did our love go?
Singer Diana Ross was ordered back to jail by an Arizona judge because she failed to complete a two-day sentence for a wildly drunken driving incident in Tucson. In addition, it appears that Ross did not compete her tour of duty in the Alabama National guard.

Type casting
Barbra Striesand and Dustin Hoffman will play Ben Stiller’s Greg Focker’s character’s parents in the sequel to “Meet the Parents” titled “Meet the Fockers.” This is good casting, because, according to the consensus, Striesand and Hoffman are the two biggest Fockers in Hollywood.

Republicans like this casting move, because, according to the Bush administration, Barbra Striesand has always been a mother Focker.

Oh, we kid the Babs. No we don’t, she seems like a real vurxg. (See the keyboard letter to the right of vurxg) Babs is Martha Stewart without the cooking skills.

Let’s get under the Hollywood hairdryers, shall we?
But seriously, according to sources none other than Robert Redford, legendary screen writer William Goldman and Oscar winning “Tootsie” writer Larry Gilbert have all concurred, in print, that Dustin Hoffman is basically a miserable little oeuxj. (See the keyboard letters to the right of oeuxj) In fact, after working with Hoffman, Gilbert said the lesson he learned after writing “Tootsie” was;

“Never work with an actor who is shorter than the Oscar statue.”

Goldman described Hoffman as pure evil. There was a particularly ugly situation where Hoffman was essentially torturing legendary and then infirmed and aged actor Sir Lawrence Olivier during the filming of “Marathon Man” because the Napoleonic Hoffman was horribly insecure around the far better actor, Olivier.

But I am going to rent “Meet the Fockers” when it comes out on DVD/tape. “Meet the Parents” was so funny it was almost painful to watch. Stiller is hilarious, and I can only hope they brought back the nightmare ex-boyfriend Owen Wilson. “I don’t like to be painted with that brush” has got to be one of the all time great, horse’s ass lines in memory.

Since you asked:
Arrepentido para la mierda. This is what I have to tell our guy, Andy Flores, our pal who does our – and most of the neighbor’s – lawn when I have failed to pick up all the doggy deposits. (I also grease him with a fin, as they say in the gangster movies) Arrepentido para la mierda translates to: sorry for the djoy. (Look to the letters just to the left of djoy on the keyboard)

That applies to many things, doesn’t it? That covers a lot of ground. Maybe I should change the name of this blog from “A Little Bit Bad” to “Arrepentido para la mierda?”