I had a busy day; I finally put up the Christmas lights on my spider hole.
This flu that's going around is nasty. One of the symptoms is that it makes you puke in your spider hole.
I can hardly wait until Christmas when Santa Claus comes down the chimney. There is just something special about when a bearded man crawls out of a dirty hole to negotiate.
Folks, there is no such thing as a clever T-Shirt
The man prosecuting Kobe Bryant admitted he has a T-shirts that mocks Kobe's words: "I'm not a rapist; I'm just a cheater." You think that's bad? Rumor has it the Santa Barbara D.A. has a T. shirt with a picture of Michael Jackson that reads; "I feel like a kid again."
For the first time in thirty years, Michael is blacked out
Michael Jackson was officially charged with molestation; Jackson could not be reached for comment, it's not that he's ignoring the press, Jackson's cell phone doesn't work in his spider hole.
That special someone
*Hey women, still don't know what to get that special guy this Christmas? You can't go wrong with a fan for his spider hole. They got those special spider hole fans at the Sharper Image.
Not clear on the concept
*I still don't think Saddam Hussein gets this whole being-captured thing; today Saddam asked to be included as part of the blockbuster trade to the Boston Red Sox.
Ahh, that explains it
New Orleans saints receiver Joe Horn has been fined $30,000 for the way he celebrated a touch down; he pulled out a cell phone and talked into it. It turns out Horn was calling Infone to see where he could find some class.
That special time of year
A 140- pound Bakersfield man tried to rape a 275- pound prostitute, and she beat him up. Let's face it, it's not Christmas until some skinny guy gets the crap beaten out of him by a fat hooker.
What a coincidence
"The Lord of the Rings" is number one at the box office. Incidentally, the Lord of the Rings is also how Venessa Bryant refers to her husband, Kobe Bryant.
A long way to go for a joke as well
President Bush had his knees examined and he does not need arthroscopic surgery. When told he didn't need arthroscopic surgery, Bush said he was glad, he didn't want to have to fly all the way to country of Arthroscopy just for the surgery.
Keith Richards turned sixty this week. You want to know what's scary? If Keith Richards keeps hanging in there, one day Keith is actually going to look good for his age.