Oh, I see, it gonna be like that, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?


A bad one
I had a rough Halloween. A little girl came to the door dressed as Liza Minelli and beat me up.

Oops
There was an embarrassing moment at the White House. When they informed President Bush that a Gay Episcopal bishop was consecrated, Bush suggested they give him some Metamucil.

Extra, read all about it
*The Kenyans dominated the New York City Marathon. In equally shocking New York news, there were rats in the Subway.

Badaboom. Try the veal, before Shaq eats it
*Hey, did you hear Shaquille O’Neal got on Jenny Craig? But don’t worry, they were able to pull Shaq off before Jenny was smashed to death.

Puffing Daddy
P. Diddy ran the New York Marathon. P. Diddy was exhausted. At one point during the race he almost threw off all of his guns.

It was great to see how excited P. Diddy was at the end of the New York Marathon, yelling, clapping, cheering, shooting off his machine gun.

Young love
*A lawyer was shot just outside of the Robert Blake trial. When Blake heard the shots he said; “Ahh, nothing like love in the fall.”

Bull’s eye
Did you see the video of the lawyer getting shot at behind the tree? He has already been released by the hospital. The gunman was right in front of him and fired five shots. How bad of a shot was that guy? Bill Clinton showed better aim with Monica Lewinski.

Oops they did it again
*ABC announced that Britney Spears is going to be interviewed by Diane Sawyer on "Prime Time Live" in November. To prepare to talk to Britney on her level, Diane will be sniffing glue all month.

Diane has one rule for Britney: no tongue action.

Consecrated 2
There was an embarrassing moment at the White House. When they informed President Bush that a Gay Episcopal bishop was consecrated; Bush asked; “Consecrated? I thought just them Jewish lads had their thingies consecrated?”