Thursday, November 13, 2003

Bare with me, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers, I’m having a rough week; there is a candid sex video on the Internet that features me and Rosie O’Donnell.

How much rain is there?
*L.A. had five inches of rain and hail in an hour. Fire, rain, hail, mudslides; Hollywood is one sleazy TV Show away from a plague of locusts.

It was raining so hard in L.A., it actually floated somebody into a John Kerry for President rally.

First fire and now rain. Southern California didn’t have a Fall, we had a James Taylor song.

Lazy, lazy, lazy
*On Sunday, ESPN broadcast a Scrabble tournament. They also replay the World Series of Poker. How lazy have we become when we can’t go to the effort of actually playing Scrabble or poker, we have to watch it on TV? “Eww, you have to shuffle cards and roll dice, that’s tough.”

It’s a good thing the poker and Scrabble tournaments or both on ESPN. People who watch poker and Scrabble on TV are too lazy to go to all of the trouble of switching channels.

Hate to see that
*There were no winners at the Rosie O’Donnell trial. Kind of like there are no winners when Rosie goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Not very difficult
*The Greek government wants their Parliament to pass a law which will make it easier for brothels to operate during the Olympics. Easier for brothels to operate? What’s so hard about operating a brothel? Hookers + customers = a well run brothel. It’s harder to operate a spoon than it is to operate a brothel.

What’s so hard about operating a brothel? Even Gray Davis could operate a brothel.

Good news
*Rush Limbaugh is coming back to his radio job after rehab. And guess what? He’s pregnant with David Letterman’s baby.

No, Rush Limbaugh is rested, ready, clean, sober. Rush is so clear-headed he even acknowledges that Donovan McNabb is a really good quarterback.

Chowdahhhhhhh
*A woman in California found a condom in her clam chowder. It was her own fault, she ordered it Kennedy-style.

Oddly enough
*Tony Danza, who played "Tony" on Taxi. He was also on a show as a housekeeper also named "Tony." He then had the "Tony Danza Show." Well, now Tony Danza might have his own talk show. Interestingly they are going to call the show; “Bobby”