Talk to me and bump it one time, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


They think of everything
*In Des Moines, a women bought a bag of potato chips from a convenience store and found a bag of marijuana inside. Talk about your one stop shopping.

A natural fit, so to speak
*There is a precedent of using baseball players to endorse medicines; Advil uses Nolan Ryan, Viagra uses Rafael Palmero, and here is a natural, Preparation H should sign Albert Pujols.

Meeeooooooowwwwww, reeeeaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr
In a pre-fight press conference, Laila Ali, got in a fight with her next opponent, Christy Martin. Normally when boxers get into press conference fight, promoters and bodyguards rush in to stop it. This time everyone just stood around yelling; “Cat fight, cat fight, cat fight.”

It was surprise, guess who won that press conference fight between Laila Ali and Christy Martin? Tonya Harding. Yeah, Tonya was there, she jumped in and won.

During the fight, Martin was overheard pleading; “Laila, you got me on my knees, Laila, I’m beggin’ darlin’ please, Laila, darlin’ won’t you ease my worried mind.”

Smooooke on the waaaaater
*Saturday night, at the Roxy in L.A., twenty wannabe rock gods competed in the West Regional of the U.S. Air Guitar Championships. Of course the air-guitar contestants were all men; the difference between men and women is women will play air guitar, but they know it’s stupid; Guys honestly think the manager for the Rolling Stones will see them and sign them up.

And the winner got to go home with an air groupie.

A Natural tie-in
*British soccer star David Beckham passed his physical for his new team Real Madrid which was televised on 39 channels. It was sponsored. In fact, the turn-and-cough test was sponsored by Allstate, the good hands people.